"Find your gift, share your gift." Over-optimism was never a problem for me. It made me feel positive and helped others to have a positive outlook too. For a typical school student, everything was easy. Small things felt important, happiness was found everywhere. But at the same time, sorrow, guilt and regret came alongside. Anger was uncontrollable. My smile covered my sadness.
Then my cousin told me about LMAD. The moment I stepped in the gate, I was mesmerized by the campus. I didn't expect much from myself here, and I was thinking of this as a personality development program. But later, I became more open to what was happening. I constantly felt like I was talking to a mirror. Words were going back and forth. Thoughts were rushing wild. There was fear. I was afraid to look within. It was increasing as time passed and I was getting frustrated. My head was boiling because I wasn't able to let it out. I wanted to quit, I wanted to get out of that place. I wanted to go back to my old self. But a little hand held me. There was something about all this that didn't allow me to stop. There was satisfaction of getting to know myself. It started to grow on me. I was still a bit hesitant, and heavy. I wanted to scream and let it all out.
I took my rage and put it on a page. The path was clear, but my vision was blur. But now I could see it all. There was an idea. I thought about it. I worked for it. I found something. It was something new, something extremely bright. It had a fragrance. It was warm. It was a duty, but it was light. It felt like I had to take care of a sunflower. I found a unique sense of power and realization inside me which I could give to everybody and connect to every heart. I felt change. My expectations were minimal. Self-respect was gained. Pride was earned. Optimism flowed. Happiness was emitted. Life became fun. Today, when I think about those trees, that soil, it all comes back. I get a new smile. I rejuvenate.